Philadelphia 76ers vs. Chicago Bulls Picks 4/6/19

Philadelphia 76ers (49-30, 36-43 ATS) vs. Chicago Bulls (35-42-2 ATS)
When: Saturday, April 6th, 2019 – 8:00 pm ET
Where: United Center – Chicago, IL
TV: NBATV

Point Spread: PHI-9.5 / CHI+9.5
Total: 227.5 (5Dimes)

Situations: PHI – Last game Thu. vs. MIL, Next game Tue. at MIA; 3rd in 4 nights.
CHI – Last game Wed. at WAS, Next game Tue. vs. NYK.

Last Night in the NBA

Fall down seven times – stand up eight. Whoever wrote that clearly didn’t understand that you would have to start on the ground for that metaphor to make sense, and I bet they weren’t as good of an NBA handicapper as me either. What do the kids say? Back on my ish? I’m always trying to connect with millennials. Hello, fellow kids!

In a busy NBA Friday night, Blake Griffin put up 45 meaningless points in a loss to the Thunder, Steph Curry put his new contacts in and went 9-12 from 3, and our boy Alex Caruso continued to be the lone bright spot in a bleak Laker Nation. IS ALEX CARUSO MORE IMPORTANT TO LAKERS REBUILD THAN LEBRON: MY COLUMN.

Tonight, we will be watching the NCAA Final Four, but if you’re a complete savage, you can go ahead and bet on Philadelphia at Chicago. Joel Embiid and Jimmy Butler are currently unknown commodities, and there’s a slew of guys on Philly that I wouldn’t be surprised get some PTO on Saturday. As such, we’re left without a line on the game, but let’s have some fun and make a pick just for shits and giggles. Or shiggles, as I call it. In case there are kids around.

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered

And no – I don’t mean that the Sixers have the championship (or even the 3-seed) all locked up and filed away – I mean they are mailing in these games HARD. So as a sign of both solidarity and as a protest, I refuse to acknowledge them in this intro section. Consider this my official non-violent protest of the City of Brotherly Love’s basketball team. The baseball team, on the other hand, …see you in October, bitches!

I’m not convinced we’ll be seeing anyone with a guaranteed contract play for the 76ers in this one, and we may have to settle this game by having a TJ McConnell-Ryan Arcidiacano White Guy Bingo contest. The first guy who gets the trifecta of “sneaky athlete,” “coach’s dream,” and “high basketball IQ” from the national TV announcers earns his team an extra 150 points. It’s like catching the Golden Snitch. There! I just fixed April NBA basketball!

With so much up in the air, the volatility is too high to assess the game accurately. If Simmons and Tobias suit up, expect an up-tempo, high-scoring affair where the Sixers spread the floor and try to score in the transition from both inside and outside of the arc. Brett Brown will be digging deep into his reserves as the Sixers play their 3rd game in 4 nights, and let’s hope he finds a way to put some of the young shooters out on the floor to get some reps. In some ways, that’s the ultimate destiny for a Ben Simmons-led team: pace and shooters. Against Chicago’s hapless roster, that should be more than enough.

When Life Gives You Lemon Jr.

You make him your Jeremy Lin. Much like Gretchen Wieners with “fetch,” the Bulls are trying to make Walter Lemon Jr. happen – and it might actually happen! The 26-year old from Bradley has landed himself in the NBA after the Chicago Bulls were decimated by injuries worse than the Starks of Winterfell (spoiler alert). The NFL has its version of this in Week 17 when you look up and notice that it’s Connor Cook versus Matt Schaub on Redzone, but I prefer the NBA’s edition better. Nothing better than seeing a guy’s big league dreams come true. Isn’t that what we all wanted at one point?

If he wants to steal another victory for Chicago, the Lemonator has come to the right place. Philadelphia is allowing 127 points per game over its last three games, and their defense is somewhere between “abject disaster” and “completely nonexistent.” It’s going to be raining buckets in this one.

Before you get too excited about Chicago, I feel compelled to tell you that the over/under on “Number of current active Bulls to start in an NBA game next year” is currently 1.5 (u -140), and the Sixers have potential Hall of Famers. I know that Chicago’s 29th-ranked offense and 27th-ranked defense were really calling your name, but I’ll advise caution for now. TBD.

Best Bet

Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. If you feel the need to place real money on this game, just go ahead and give 1-800-GAMBLING a call to see if they can help you out. We’re in the midst of the Final Four – don’t bet the NBA in Game 80. The Sixers gave up defense for Lent, and we’re not getting it back until at least Game 3 of Round 1. With Jimmy and JoJo potentially on the shelf, there’s going to be far too much Shake Milton and Haywood Highsmith for my liking. Chicago and their G-Leaguers should keep it interesting enough to cover whatever spread the books end up giving us. Now take a score prediction from me and pipe down.