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In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit:
Dear God...This morning I went out to my car to start it in order to warm it up. As I started the car on ESPN radio I heard that Terrell Owens was released by the Cowboys. I then heard Mike and Mike discuss how Terrell Owens might be a good fit for the Tennessee Titans.
Now God, I know I don't pray as much as I should and I know that I only come to you when I really need something and I know that I should come to you when I don't need anything. I will change all that, but please...ahem...PLEASE answer this prayer.
Please do not let Terrell Owens sign with the Tennessee Titans. Please let Terrell Owens sign with the Raiders or Falcons or Lions or the Patroits or any team. Dear Lord let the man make $100 million a year all guaranteed money...as long as he doesn't sign with the Titans.
Dear Lord...If you do this one thing for me...this one small thing...I promise to:
1) Go to church more often;
2) Say "thank you" and "please" more often;
3) donate more to my church
4) donate more to charities
5) call my mom and dad more often
6) reduce the curse words I use
7) give money to bums on the street when they ask for it even though they are only going to use it to buy drugs or alcohol
8) drink less
9) stop smoking or at least cut down
10) be nicer to elderly
11) not mock other people
12) be more honest
13) tell the truth on my income tax return
14) eat healthier
15) drink less coke
16) gamble less
17) help my neighbors more
18) listen to my doctor
19) not eat meat on friday's during the lenton season
20) read a passage from the bible on a daily basis
21) go to mass on Sunday's as long as I get out before Kickoff
22) donate all my unused garbage in my house to good will
23) ban fewer people on predictem.com (if that is possible for me)
Dear God, I am really not asking for much and in exchange I will do the above 23 things to the best of my abilities. Please Dear God do not make me throw away all of my Titans coats, caps, underwear, and other items. Please help me this one time. I need you now more than ever in my life. Please Dear God, help me, Please intervene and cause Terrell Owens to sign with any team other than the Tennesse Titans.
Amen.
Dear God...This morning I went out to my car to start it in order to warm it up. As I started the car on ESPN radio I heard that Terrell Owens was released by the Cowboys. I then heard Mike and Mike discuss how Terrell Owens might be a good fit for the Tennessee Titans.
Now God, I know I don't pray as much as I should and I know that I only come to you when I really need something and I know that I should come to you when I don't need anything. I will change all that, but please...ahem...PLEASE answer this prayer.
Please do not let Terrell Owens sign with the Tennessee Titans. Please let Terrell Owens sign with the Raiders or Falcons or Lions or the Patroits or any team. Dear Lord let the man make $100 million a year all guaranteed money...as long as he doesn't sign with the Titans.
Dear Lord...If you do this one thing for me...this one small thing...I promise to:
1) Go to church more often;
2) Say "thank you" and "please" more often;
3) donate more to my church
4) donate more to charities
5) call my mom and dad more often
6) reduce the curse words I use
7) give money to bums on the street when they ask for it even though they are only going to use it to buy drugs or alcohol
8) drink less
9) stop smoking or at least cut down
10) be nicer to elderly
11) not mock other people
12) be more honest
13) tell the truth on my income tax return
14) eat healthier
15) drink less coke
16) gamble less
17) help my neighbors more
18) listen to my doctor
19) not eat meat on friday's during the lenton season
20) read a passage from the bible on a daily basis
21) go to mass on Sunday's as long as I get out before Kickoff
22) donate all my unused garbage in my house to good will
23) ban fewer people on predictem.com (if that is possible for me)
Dear God, I am really not asking for much and in exchange I will do the above 23 things to the best of my abilities. Please Dear God do not make me throw away all of my Titans coats, caps, underwear, and other items. Please help me this one time. I need you now more than ever in my life. Please Dear God, help me, Please intervene and cause Terrell Owens to sign with any team other than the Tennesse Titans.
Amen.
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