YOU JUST MIGHT BE A WARLORD

[Meestermike]

With all the hype here in Canada about cannabis legalization this point is a great chuckle.

You are a Warlord if you can say...

Sooo my bitch ass neighbor downstairs called the cops cuz I was smoking a dube on my balcony. The cops arrive and ask me 'OK, where's the weed at?' I said 'I smoked it all'. The officer then asks ' where'd you buy it?' I said from my neighbor' So now they're down at his house searching through all of his ****.

[Wilson]

lol That's some funny stuff Mike!

[yomonte]

My buddy agion't feelin' good so he goes.to the doctor comes back an hour later with lab results. Says you only got 10 minutes to live/ My bud says 10 minutes, ain't there something you can do for me. the doctor says oh ..of..course ..I can make you a ham sammich

[yomonte]

This guy was swimming in the ocean off Atlantic City and started to drown and the life guard swam out to save him. The guy said, its OK, god will save me. a row boat comes by and he tells them, its OK god will save me. A steam boat comes by and he says, its OK god will save me. He drowns and goes to heaven and asks god, why didn't you save me, and god said "you stupid piece of ****. God dammlit, I Sent you two boats and a fkn lifeguard, you stupid asssss.

[Wilson]

Yo, that's hilarious!

[yomonte]

Hey Wilson, hows it goin'. Did I forget to mention that the guy that drowned was drinkin' with me before he drowned. Life is good till they start throwin' dirt on ya. Daammm I can't wait ta see ya again. see ya bro.

[yomonte]

The way to a mans heart is thru his liver

[yomonte]

I came home from work and said, honey I'm home and I have a bottle of asperin. She said I don't have a headache. I said OK lets FK

[Meestermike]

You might be a warlord
A man and a woman were deeply in love. She, being of a religious nature, had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked. One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing." He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60, off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now, seeing her naked for the first time, and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, over an embankment and wrapped the car around a tree. His girlfriend was thrown clear, but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas, he was stuck. "Go up to the road and get help," he said. "But I haven't anything to cover myself with!" she replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put this between your legs to cover it up," he told her. So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver. Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story. "My boyfriend, my boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!" The truck driver, looking down at the shoe between her legs, replies, "Ma'am, if he's in that far, I'm afraid there's no hope for him."

[Meestermike]

You might be a warlord cuz...
I can’t make this **** up

[yomonte]

First off, I'm glad I ain't the only one posting dum chit here

I came home from work early and caught my wife in bed with another woman. I was mad until I noticed it wasn't another woman, but in fact it was my blow up sex doll I had hid in the attic

[yomonte]

I swear, I didn't know that ending a sentence with a proposition was a misdermeanor. I ain't boooooo chittiiiiiiin

[joepa66]

You might be a warlord cuz...
I can’t make this **** up

Should have a least used a thong or stuck his nose out the pee hole....

[joepa66]

First off, I'm glad I ain't the only one posting dum chit here

I came home from work early and caught my wife in bed with another woman. I was mad until I noticed it wasn't another woman, but in fact it was my blow up sex doll I had hid in the attic

LMAO....

[joepa66]

If your are mad that your wife was in bed with another woman and your sex doll is a man.....you might be a warlord.