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<tt><tt>DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
>
>40-ish - 49
>Adventurous - Slept with everyone
>Athletic - No tits
>Average looking - Ugly
>Beautiful - Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
>Emotionally secure - On medication
>Feminist - Fat
>Free spirit - Junkie
>Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
>Fun - Annoying
>New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
>Open-minded - Desperate
>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate - Sloppy drunk
>Professional - Bitch
>Voluptuous - Very Fat
>Large frame - Hugely Fat
>Wants Soul mate - Stalker
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH
>1. Yes = No
>2. No = Yes
>3. Maybe = No
>4. We need = I want
>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
>7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
>10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH
> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> 3. I am tired = I am tired
> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> 5. I love you = let's have sex now
> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
>11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
>
>And finally.....
>A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
>attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
>
>For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with
>rugged, masculine features.
>
>However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and
>set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up
>his ass.</tt></tt>
>
>40-ish - 49
>Adventurous - Slept with everyone
>Athletic - No tits
>Average looking - Ugly
>Beautiful - Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
>Emotionally secure - On medication
>Feminist - Fat
>Free spirit - Junkie
>Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
>Fun - Annoying
>New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
>Open-minded - Desperate
>Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate - Sloppy drunk
>Professional - Bitch
>Voluptuous - Very Fat
>Large frame - Hugely Fat
>Wants Soul mate - Stalker
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH
>1. Yes = No
>2. No = Yes
>3. Maybe = No
>4. We need = I want
>5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
>6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
>7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
>8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
>10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH
> 1. I am hungry = I am hungry
> 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> 3. I am tired = I am tired
> 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
> 5. I love you = let's have sex now
> 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
>10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
>11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
>
>And finally.....
>A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
>attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
>
>For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with
>rugged, masculine features.
>
>However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and
>set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a baseball bat shoved up
>his ass.</tt></tt>
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