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A ham sammich (notice I cain't spell ham) any way. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here. no less
Guy in Oregon calls a retired game warden about a bear on his roof. Game warden shows up with a ladder, baseball bat, an old scarred up dog and a shotgun.
"What'd ya bring all that stuff for?" asks the home owner.
"First, I'll put the ladder up to your house," said the game warden. "Then I'll climb up with the baseball bat and knock the bear off your roof. When he falls to the ground the dog will subdue the bear by biting him and holding onto the bear's nuts firmly."
"Oh," replied the home owner, "and the shotgun?"
To wit the game warden answered, "If I happen to fall off the roof first, shoot that damn dog!"
Batman:"If you can't spend it, money's just a lot of worthless paper, isn't it?" :phew:
A little boy walks to his parents bedroom in the middle of the night and the door is cracked open. he peers inside, shakes his head, and say as he walks away: "and she gets mad at me when I suck my thumb".
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