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Allow me the honor of giving you a brief lesson in Mr. Billy Baroooo's many hidebound attributes. One of the first facts we should face is that I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that Billy claims that he would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a destructive act. I claim that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves, although I should add that we should not concern ourselves with Billy's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Billy's favorite buzzword these days is "crisis". He likes to tell us that we have a crisis on our hands. He then argues that the only reasonable approach to combat this crisis is for him to pilfer the national treasure. In my opinion, the real crisis is the dearth of people who understand that people often get the impression that cantankerous thugs and Billy's accomplices are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that there is something grievously wrong with those ribald soi-disant do-gooders who pollute the great canon of English literature with references to Billy's impractical notions. Shame on the lot of them! Billy fervently believes that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs -- or maybe even chocolate. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that Billy's stratagems are a ticking time bomb, set to feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear. Once we realize that, what do we do? The appropriate thing, in my judgment, is to institute change. I say that because we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we shine a light on his efforts to use lethal violence as a source of humor, or is it sufficient to lift our nation from the quicksand of injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood? It would take days to give the complete answer to that question but the gist of it is that Billy's morals are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to condemn his hypocrisy. The only way to destroy his Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that Billy occasionally shows what appears to be warmth, joy, love, or compassion. You should realize, however, that these positive expressions are more feigned than experienced and invariably serve an ulterior motive, such as to alter, rewrite, or ignore past events to make them consistent with his current "reality". All I'm trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the mingy tendencies that make Billy want to toss sops to the egos of the cold-blooded. At first, he just wanted to feature simplistic answers to complex problems. Then, he tried to move yawping, possession-obsessed ruffianism from the foul fringe into a realm of respectability. Who knows what he'll do next? Before you answer, let me point out that my goal is to lend support to the thesis that crime unpunished is crime rewarded. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I unquestionably do have to try.
Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that the law of parsimony suggests that Billy is unable to empathize with the pain of his victims. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. If my own experience has taught me anything, it's that biased reporting and blatant disregard for the truth are hardly limited to highly visible media outlets. Still, I recommend you check out some of his writings and draw your own conclusions on the matter. Billy can get away with lies (e.g., that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Billy is lying.
The whole premise of Billy's principles is false, and his arguments are specious at best. Billy should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to. Since he claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that by his standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a viperine pinhead. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from Billy's. For instance, I contend that self-pitying savages like Billy are not born -- they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, I want to thank Billy for his rejoinders. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how pesky Billy can be.
I welcome Billy's comments. However, Billy needs to realize that his loyalists believe a conspiracy of rotten simpletons control banking, foreign policy, and the media, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Be always mindful that my current plan is to draw an accurate portrait of his ideological alignment. Yes, Billy will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Billy's insecure circulars which corrupt our youth. Some untoward primates have raised objections to my protests, but their objections are all politically motivated. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that we must set the record straight if we are ever to oppose him and all he stands for. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must decidedly pursue because Billy works from the false assumption that most people actually want blasphemous, out-of-touch proponents of communism to throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future. That's the sort of statement that some people insist is mutinous, but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because Billy's claims have created a sophomoric universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Only within this universe does it make sense to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement. And, only if we encourage our spirits to soar can we destroy this batty universe of his and operate on today's real -- not tomorrow's ideal -- political terrain. Billy doesn't want us to know about his plans to devise stubborn scams to get money for nothing. Otherwise, we might do something about that.
In purely political terms, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Billy Baroooo". In it, I chronicle all of Billy's crusades, from the sordid to the hypersensitive, and conclude that when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Billy is drunk with power, which is why we must go placidly amid the noise and haste. This raises the question: How far do his lies extend? This is not a question that we should run away from. Rather, it is something that needs to be addressed quickly and directly, because I'm at loggerheads with him on at least one important issue. Namely, Billy argues that I'm too incomprehensible to pursue virtue and knowledge. I take the opposite position, that Billy's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Billy is more adept at hidden mind control and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. We must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that he will create a new cottage industry around his raucous form of emotionalism. And to overcome these fears, we must address the legitimate anger, fear, and alienation of people who have been mobilized by Billy because they saw no other options for change. In short, I feel we must spread awareness of the froward nature of Mr. Billy Baroooo's precepts. I hope other members of the community feel the same.
Some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that the law of parsimony suggests that Billy is unable to empathize with the pain of his victims. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. If my own experience has taught me anything, it's that biased reporting and blatant disregard for the truth are hardly limited to highly visible media outlets. Still, I recommend you check out some of his writings and draw your own conclusions on the matter. Billy can get away with lies (e.g., that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that Billy is lying.
The whole premise of Billy's principles is false, and his arguments are specious at best. Billy should learn to appreciate what he has instead of feeling so oppressed because he can't do everything he wants, every time he wants to. Since he claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that by his standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a viperine pinhead. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from Billy's. For instance, I contend that self-pitying savages like Billy are not born -- they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, I want to thank Billy for his rejoinders. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how pesky Billy can be.
I welcome Billy's comments. However, Billy needs to realize that his loyalists believe a conspiracy of rotten simpletons control banking, foreign policy, and the media, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Be always mindful that my current plan is to draw an accurate portrait of his ideological alignment. Yes, Billy will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Billy's insecure circulars which corrupt our youth. Some untoward primates have raised objections to my protests, but their objections are all politically motivated. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that we must set the record straight if we are ever to oppose him and all he stands for. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must decidedly pursue because Billy works from the false assumption that most people actually want blasphemous, out-of-touch proponents of communism to throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future. That's the sort of statement that some people insist is mutinous, but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because Billy's claims have created a sophomoric universe devoid of logic and evidence. Only within this universe does it make sense to say that cannibalism, wife-swapping, and the murder of infants and the elderly are acceptable behavior. Only within this universe does it make sense to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement. And, only if we encourage our spirits to soar can we destroy this batty universe of his and operate on today's real -- not tomorrow's ideal -- political terrain. Billy doesn't want us to know about his plans to devise stubborn scams to get money for nothing. Otherwise, we might do something about that.
In purely political terms, everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of Billy Baroooo". In it, I chronicle all of Billy's crusades, from the sordid to the hypersensitive, and conclude that when a friend wants to drive inebriated, you try to stop him. Well, Billy is drunk with power, which is why we must go placidly amid the noise and haste. This raises the question: How far do his lies extend? This is not a question that we should run away from. Rather, it is something that needs to be addressed quickly and directly, because I'm at loggerheads with him on at least one important issue. Namely, Billy argues that I'm too incomprehensible to pursue virtue and knowledge. I take the opposite position, that Billy's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Billy is more adept at hidden mind control and his techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. We must overcome the fears that beset us every day of our lives. We must overcome the fear that he will create a new cottage industry around his raucous form of emotionalism. And to overcome these fears, we must address the legitimate anger, fear, and alienation of people who have been mobilized by Billy because they saw no other options for change. In short, I feel we must spread awareness of the froward nature of Mr. Billy Baroooo's precepts. I hope other members of the community feel the same.
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