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Subject: GEORGE BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH
If Bush resigned today, this is what his
speech would be.....
Normally, I start these things out by
saying "My Fellow Americans", not doing it this
time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know
something terrible has happened, and that you're
really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I
quit. Now before anyone gets all in lather about me
quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid
prosecution, let me assure you: There's been no
breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this
office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm
fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have
no understanding of what's really going on in the
world. Or of what's going on in this once-great
nation of ours. And the majority of you are too
damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a
bill of goods by politicians and the news media.
Polls show that the majority of you think the
economy is in the tank. And that's despite record
numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of
MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning
minorities, I'll point out that minority business
ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment
rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton
administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't sink in.
Despite the shock to our economy of
9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record
levels and more Americans than ever are
participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you
can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you
are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are
high because there's increased demand in other parts
of the world, and because a small handful of noisy
idiots are more worried about polar bears and
beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world.
Don't give me this "blood for oil" crap.
If I were trading blood for oil I would've already
seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the
country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush
Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar
you morons take me for, I could've easily had
chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be
'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that
the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the
world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let
me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office.
Clinton established that policy. Bet you didn't
know that, did you?
You idiots need to understand that we
face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there
were two major competing political and economic
models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so
because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out
spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The
soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they
survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be
fine, as long as they weren't also committed to
taking as many of you with them as they can. But
they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards
are all over the globe. You should be grateful that
they haven't gotten any more of us here in the
United States since September 11. But you're not.
That's because you've got no idea how hard a small
number of intelligence, military, law enforcement,
and homeland security people have worked to make
sure of that. When this whole mess started, I
warned you that this would be a long and difficult
fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people
think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single
season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient.
You're incapable of seeing things through the long
lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years,
tops.
Making matters worse, you actively
support those who help the enemy. Every time you
buy the New York Times, every time you send a
donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political
campaign, well, you might just as well FedEx a
grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the
same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to
find the truth. It's all over the Internet, it just
isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC
News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any
smarter. Most of you would rather watch American
Idol.
I could say more about your expectations
that the government will always be there to bail you
out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city
that's below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane
approaching.
I could say more about your idiotic
belief that government, not your own wallet, is
where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right
over your heads.
So, I quit. I'm going back to Crawford.
I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al
Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of
Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm
done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it
again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age
before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting
too.
That means Pelosi is your new President.
You asked for it - you can have her. Watch what
she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer
of hope that there are just enough of you remaining
who are smart enough to turn this thing around in
2008.
So that's it.
God bless what's left of America .
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you -
kiss my ass!
:thumbs:
If Bush resigned today, this is what his
speech would be.....
Normally, I start these things out by
saying "My Fellow Americans", not doing it this
time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know
something terrible has happened, and that you're
really not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I
quit. Now before anyone gets all in lather about me
quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid
prosecution, let me assure you: There's been no
breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this
office.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm
fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have
no understanding of what's really going on in the
world. Or of what's going on in this once-great
nation of ours. And the majority of you are too
damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a
bill of goods by politicians and the news media.
Polls show that the majority of you think the
economy is in the tank. And that's despite record
numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of
MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning
minorities, I'll point out that minority business
ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment
rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton
administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't sink in.
Despite the shock to our economy of
9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record
levels and more Americans than ever are
participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you
can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you
are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are
high because there's increased demand in other parts
of the world, and because a small handful of noisy
idiots are more worried about polar bears and
beachfront property than your economic security.
We face real threats in the world.
Don't give me this "blood for oil" crap.
If I were trading blood for oil I would've already
seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the
country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush
Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar
you morons take me for, I could've easily had
chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be
'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that
the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest of the
world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let
me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office.
Clinton established that policy. Bet you didn't
know that, did you?
You idiots need to understand that we
face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there
were two major competing political and economic
models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so
because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out
spend and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time. The
soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they
survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be
fine, as long as they weren't also committed to
taking as many of you with them as they can. But
they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards
are all over the globe. You should be grateful that
they haven't gotten any more of us here in the
United States since September 11. But you're not.
That's because you've got no idea how hard a small
number of intelligence, military, law enforcement,
and homeland security people have worked to make
sure of that. When this whole mess started, I
warned you that this would be a long and difficult
fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people
think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single
season of 'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient.
You're incapable of seeing things through the long
lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years,
tops.
Making matters worse, you actively
support those who help the enemy. Every time you
buy the New York Times, every time you send a
donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political
campaign, well, you might just as well FedEx a
grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the
same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to
find the truth. It's all over the Internet, it just
isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC
News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any
smarter. Most of you would rather watch American
Idol.
I could say more about your expectations
that the government will always be there to bail you
out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city
that's below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane
approaching.
I could say more about your idiotic
belief that government, not your own wallet, is
where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right
over your heads.
So, I quit. I'm going back to Crawford.
I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al
Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of
Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm
done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it
again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age
before the last pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting
too.
That means Pelosi is your new President.
You asked for it - you can have her. Watch what
she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer
of hope that there are just enough of you remaining
who are smart enough to turn this thing around in
2008.
So that's it.
God bless what's left of America .
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you -
kiss my ass!
:thumbs:
Those of you in rifle range, your face is now safe!
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