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CHRISTMAS PARTY ANNOUNCEMENT
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 01, 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band
playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Yomonte
************************************************** *
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 02, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,
from now on we're calling it our' Holiday Party.'
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree. No Christmas carols sung.
We will have other types of music. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Yomonte
************************************************** ***
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 03, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regar ding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
'AA Only'; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the
union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
************************************************** ***
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that Decemb er 20 begins the
Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at
this time of year does not accomm odate our Muslim employees' beliefs.
Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end
of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in
little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to
the rest rooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. *******s do not have to sit
with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower
arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing
allowed though.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food w ill be available for those on a diet.
We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest for those people
with high blood pressure to taste first.
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics. The restaurant
cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Yomonte
************************************************
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 05, 2007
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks, I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death,' as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream
r ight NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The Mother ****er from HELL!!!!!!!!
*********************************************
FROM: Meestermike, Acting Human Reso urces Director
DATE: December 06, 2007
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime,
management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Mike
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 01, 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.
There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band
playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along.
And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among
employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over
$10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Yomonte
************************************************** *
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 02, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,
from now on we're calling it our' Holiday Party.'
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree. No Christmas carols sung.
We will have other types of music. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Yomonte
************************************************** ***
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 03, 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regar ding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
'AA Only'; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore.
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the
union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
************************************************** ***
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees and Predictem.com Members
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that Decemb er 20 begins the
Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours.
There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at
this time of year does not accomm odate our Muslim employees' beliefs.
Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end
of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in
little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to
the rest rooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. *******s do not have to sit
with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower
arrangement for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing
allowed though.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food w ill be available for those on a diet.
We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest for those people
with high blood pressure to taste first.
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics. The restaurant
cannot supply 'No Sugar' desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Yomonte
************************************************
FROM: Yomonte, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees and Predictem.com Members
DATE: December 05, 2007
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks, I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the 'grill of death,' as you so
quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream
r ight NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The Mother ****er from HELL!!!!!!!!
*********************************************
FROM: Meestermike, Acting Human Reso urces Director
DATE: December 06, 2007
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime,
management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Mike
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