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Thought even HD would enjoy this one:
The Culham Laboratories have discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is completely inert.
However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the critical morass. When
catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
The Culham Laboratories have discovered the heaviest element yet
known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is completely inert.
However, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to
complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It
does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the critical morass. When
catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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